SIDENY RAIN AND HER ROADS LESS TRAVELLED BY MANY

"If your daughter always leave the house and prefer to live outdoors for days, it might help her stay at home if you  let her join marathons."

This was told to me by an old man on the upper most floor at the MMDA's office way back 2007 after I went to GMA 7 and asked help from the staff of Jessica Soho's show "Reunions." I could not recall what department I was at that time and completely forgotten the man's name. I just knew that his men found my daughter, Sidney Rain who was then 8 years old at the overpass bridge in Buendia when she left our house and was gone for more than two months. At that time I was still separated and could hardly pay for the room that my kids and I were renting.

For those who will read this story in full with understanding and an open heart, I thank you in advance. For those who are quick to judge and come up with a lot of know it all questions, then with all due respect, I ask you to stop reading right now and browse or click your mouse elsewhere.

My daughter with the free spirit, Sidney Rain

Her full name is Sidney Rain Bucu and was diagnosed with Autism in PGH when she was about four years old At that time I was just a stay at home Mom, unemployed and taking care of  my 7 children where we lived at our old house in the province and their dad visited us every two weeks. Out of those seven kids, three have special needs. Two having autism and one having learning disabilities. They all look normal, even good looking as what other kind people would comment until you look at them closely. Some noticed it instantly and understood where as for others silently judge them with their eyes. You can see them stare at my children for long minutes, whisper or talk about people they knew who act queerly, branding them "autistic" and sadly, some openly, annoyingly display their discomfort at my children. But my children including my Mom had gotten used to it. Autism or any disability is still  questioned and misunderstood by many, until you or a member of your family gets hit with it.

Sidney and Red both have autism. Photo taken at Pasay City Sped Center 2010

Most of my kids are advanced for their age. I have known this even before they started school. Aside from the fact that they all learned to eat veggies with no qualms even the ones with special needs since they learned how to eat solid food, they are the kids who had learned to write their names by just looking at the letters and get a perfect score even if they have been absent for a week due to flu. There are some who fall asleep during classroom discussions and even exams yet still get to pass it. I also have a daughter who can create a swing with an old sack and a rope when she was only four years old and most of them know were the story is heading for most local telenovela whose story lines are quite often predictable. My youngest son, Red who had learned how to hum before he could even talk is very good with roads, just like Sidney.

With Sidney it was much different. She had learned to read and speak in English at the age of three. Her comprehension is way too fast and advanced even with kids beyond her age. She is very good with computers and online games. She also gets bored inside the classroom. She did study in Pasay City Sped, even learned how to bake carrot cakes and brownies but because her mind works so fast she lost interest with the regular classroom setting and does not want to go back.

At times I blame myself for those days that Sidney had left the house and spent her days outdoors, whether there was a typhoon or not and sadly even during holiday seasons. Not that I do not look for her. Despite the challenge of working in a call center and leaving my kids in the evenings so that all seven of them could go to school and all of them could eat three times a day, I found out that the more I look for her, the more she refuses to go home. At times, owners of internet cafe and resorts send me messages even to my friends that they have found my daughter and these are places as far as Sta Rosa Laguna and Bulacan. Sometimes I get to find and take my daughter home after a lot of questioning like the third degree. At times she get to leave again even before I arrive to pick her up. There were also days when people from different DSWD units, police officers and even total strangers were kind  enough to bring Sidney home. Lately because she literally grew up on the streets, she returns home on her own and when she is asked where she had been, she will just answer, " Mom, I am already here."

Some of you may ask if I had sought help from foundations and the big networks ?

I sure did. I wrote countless letters, called and personally looked for foundations who could help me with therapy sessions, even for my kids' schooling. Unfortunately we were not that lucky. There was even one who told me that there were more people whose situations were worst than mine. That even though I have seven kids and three have special needs, I could still afford to send them all to school no matter what.

That  was when I stopped asking for help and threw all caution to the wind.  Perhaps one day all my prayers will be answered in God's time.

Now where does running come into place ?

A lot of people I have talked to while I was in search for my daughter had told me that she walks and runs too fast for a girl of her age. There was even a time that a security guard was called because Sidney just appeared out of nowhere and ran at a bowling alley in SM MOA. With the help of other security guards, they tried to catch her but failed. They were about four security guards and they could not help but laugh at themselves while trying to catch Sidney. I was not into running then because I was more focused on keeping myself awake in the evenings though I have to admit I could hardly catch up with my kids who were all brisk walkers. I also knew  that my small salary was still not enough to engage in sports activities so I did my best to keep healthy no matter how hard it was.

It was on December of 2010 when  my whole family was devastated by a great tragedy. We lost my eldest brother due to a heart attack. He was only 48 years old. We were all affected especially my children because my brother was like a second father to all his nieces and nephews who all call him "Daddy Sonny." It was a turning point in my life to find time for fitness and to always look at the brighter side of life if I want to live longer and see all my seven children grow up to become productive members of the society. That was also the reason why instead of wallowing in tears and worry, my kids and I continue with our lives despite of Sidney's constant absence, choosing to be discreet with it and to the people who we share our stories, knowing that we were all be judged on how we handle it and relying more on faith that one day all this will come to an end.

Three years ago, I joined my first Fun Run. The company where I used to work was one of the sponsors and a Team Leader on the floor had announced that the first one hundred registrants get to register for free. I signed up for a 3K run and  it was a decision I will never regret because it had paved the way for my fitness journey.That was when the old man's voice from MMDA keep haunting me back, thinking that there might be a possibility that he may have been right all along. And after seven years, I have finally listened and followed what he told me.

It was February of 2014 when I finally asked Sidney if she wanted to join a fun run. Being her Mom I knew the answer before I even asked. The reason why it took so long for me to realize that that old man from MMDA who is now just a memory was right was because just like me, I knew once my daughter decided on something, there will be no turning back. Aside from that, words can break or make a person's world who has autism. If I do not keep my promise, that would mean for sure she will leave the house again and will come back home when she wants to.

We all know that joining Fun Runs cost money. Now that the two of us will be joining races, that will be an additional expense to the family's already tight budget.Though two of my kids already finished schooling, two are still in college. Good thing Sidney chooses the race that she joins. She usually visits pinoyfitness.com for updates to check if the in store registration already started for the specific race that she wants to run.

When she ran her first race which was a 5K run at Run United 1 2014, I made sure she was well aware of what she was into. Since I was running for the 10K category, Sidney was all by herself. It was our first time to join a Run United race. Since 2012 I had only joined one race where I ran 5K and most of my runs were weekend ones, from our place to BGC where I also join the Zumba group exercise at the park. We did not even know how to use the D tags. I did not put mine whereas Sidney was informed and assisted by a kind Marshall to put her D tag who may have noticed that my daughter looked "different" among the 5K runners on the first lane. It may have been risky letting my daughter run by herself but before we parted I told her the rules of the game. "To always stay on the right side, to watch out for the plastic cups, banana peels and throw her trash inside the trash bin, to walk if she is already too tired to run and most importantly, never, ever cheat on her run and finish what she had started."

Sidney effortlessly finished her first 5K run at 32 minutes and 40 seconds

After more than a year of running and joining races, Sidney had gotten comfortable with running 10K categories by herself while I now have advanced with joining half marathons. At times, when money was tight, I register her first while I wait for those runners who changed their minds the last minute and sell their kits online. At first I had second thoughts meeting a total stranger just to buy a race kit but I took the risk. That stranger now has become a running friend and who already met Sidney in person. At times when money is really tight, it is only her who gets registered while I ran from the outer lanes, shouting words of encouragement, unmindful of the runners' curious eyes and befriending the Marshalls who were kind enough to allow me after telling them about my daughter who has autism and that I just wanted to run with her. Sometimes, after the race when we can't seem to find each other, I have her name announced so that she will know where to find me. It seems that the two of us are becoming popular without us trying too hard in every race that we join.

I have never instilled the word "fear" on my children. They are aware that words like trauma and phobia exist but to them every fear can be conquered and that would mean we have to face each and every one of them. I also did not pressure them in school. Every parent I believe wants what is best for their children but at times we parents get surprised to know that our children are more adventurous and free spirited than we expect them to be.

With the help of my friends, Sidney had enjoyed her first climb at PICO DE LORO

Every one of us is capable of achieving our dreams no matter how impossible they are. My daughter Sidney still leaves the house but now comes home because she wants to join a race. She may get  impatient when it comes to training but still participates even if that would mean a short run at the park or do warm up exercises. When she joins a race, she wakes up very early on the day of the event aware of the assembly time and the start time of her run. She also makes sure everything is okay from her shoes, race bib, D tag, her music from an MP player and her bottled water. The camera is the least of her worries but being her Mom, it would be great to have her pictures taken while she is on the road running with other runners, just like a normal person. And for that I am grateful for the photographers who take time to capture those priceless moments on the road.

Thank you Running Photographers

The last time she ran was when she accepted the  Sub1 10K PinoyFitness Challenge where she was fully aware that if she did not finish her run in one hour or less, she will not get a medal but still gets a finisher shirt.


For now she was glad and proud she got a finisher shirt. There is still next year to get that deserved medal.

Tired and hungry after finishing the race

And I, being her Mom will be her pacer then. Autistic or not, nothing is impossible as long as you put your heart and soul to it.


(This post was originally written and shared @pinoyfitness.com last year and was published on Mother's Day. Photo credits to  Running Photographers, Samantha Anne Bucu and Arla Encanto )

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A THANK YOU POST FROM A PRODIGAL DAUGHTER THIS MOTHER'S DAY

Ever heard of that biblical story about the prodigal son who left his father's kingdom and went back home after wasting all his money? Did you also know that the father welcomed back this son with open arms and even held a feast to celebrate his return?

You may have watched, read or heard a similar story, finding it familiar & predictable since biblical stories are never far fetched when it came to real life.  I believe that all stories whether biblical or fiction are reflections of what happened in the real world. They can never be far from the truth. 


I was not really close to my Mom when I was a kid. I was more of a Daddy's girl, the first princess in the family and my Mom's biggest disappointment. I was the daughter who received early morning sermons because I did not wake up early & was required to take care of my siblings' needs so we will not be late for school. I was the girl who sold ice candies while my classmates happily ran on the school grounds, even during Recognition Days so we could earn extra money to augment my Mom's small income as a teacher. I was the aloof, cold, person who had bad dreams about my mom being a vampire, sucking my blood where I woke up crying, grateful that it was only a dream. And I was the only one in the family who did not finish college, got married unprepared, had kids almost every year, who was unemployed for a long time, financially incapable & whose marriage hit rock bottom, finally resulting in a separation from my husband.

It was hard living with my mom. We had daily fights on almost everything from her traditional and backward ways of thinking too much of what other people would say, of sticking with that old school mindset when it came to education, of being too closed minded on almost everything. There were days when the shouting matches became frequent, unreasonable and too personal. It became unhealthy until one day I prayed that  the daily fights would stop because my kids have witnessed it everyday.

The heavens did hear all my prayers especially when I learned that the fights came from small talk among my relatives whose favorite past time was to watch families fight everyday. It was a huge turnaround in our lives especially when I decided to work in the city and leave some of my kids to my Mom. She understood my decision, fully supported me in my chosen career, made me go through life even if that meant learning my lessons the hard way. But most importantly, she made me remember that there is always a home that I could return to & that she will welcome me and my children back no matter what happens. 

Always.

Such was my Mom's love that made me see life differently, loving my children more and appreciating every blessing and blessings in disguise that came my way everyday.

This Mother' Day, Century Mall has an ongoing promo for all Mothers by simply writing her a thank you note.

Source

The mechanics can be found on their facebook page   @ facebook.com/CenturyCityMall.

They are very easy to follow and I encourage you to join not just because of the awesome prizes in store to be given away but because  Mothers appreciate what ever little thing you give them, whatever occasion it maybe. I know that for sure because I am also a Mom.

Lastly, show your Mom how you love her everyday as much as you can. She will not be here forever. We are such lucky beings knowing that our Moms are still with us, that they will always be there to welcome us back every time we search for ourselves and decide to go back home.

       

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HUNT & GATHER'S STRONG MOMS MOTHER'S DAY FESTIVAL

With Mother's Day just around the corner, lots of events, promos and giveaways can be seen, read and heard almost anywhere. And being a Mom, I am one of those who look forward in taking advantage of each one of them, hoping that I may be lucky enough to be chosen as one of the winners. And one of those that I look forward to attend is HUNT & GATHER'S STRONG MOMS MOTHER'S DAY FESTIVAL.

SOURCE

The STRONG MOMS MOTHER'S DAY FESTIVAL is a NUTRITION & FITNESS BAZAAR which will be held at GLORIETTA 3 ACTIVITY CENTER on May 7 & 8 from 10AM to 10PM.Registration is free so you can tag along your family & friends.There will be nutrition talks and open workouts plus nutritious goodies and wellness services from the different booths in the bazaar. There will also be lots of freebies and giveaways to be given away. In fact, one lucky Mom has the chance of winning 5000Php worth of Strong Moms Goodies.

SOURCE

Below are the mechanics:

1. Attend at least two (2) nutrition talks and one (1) open workout on May 7 and/or 8
2. Take a picture of yourself with the facilitator and post it on Instagram.
3. Follow and tag @iloveayalamalls, @iloveglorietta, and @huntandgatherph on Instagram.
4. First 100 moms to fulfill the requirements and approach the registration table will receive a bag of healthy goodies!

Slots are limited as each talk can only accommodate 20 seats. Pre-register by sending them a message in their facebook page.


So Mommies, if you are free this first weekend of May, head on to Glorietta 3 Activiy Center and join the STRONG MOMS MOTHER'S DAY FESTIVAL by Hunt & Gather. Bring your kids and the rest of your family at the bazaar. Not only will you get to learn how to live more fully by eating healthy but you also get to share that experience while spending Mother's Day with your loved ones.

For more updates, please visit Hunt & Gather in facebook or you can also follow them @instagram.com/huntandgatherph & @twitter.com/huntandgatherph.

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How To Nail That Sub1 10K Race In Your Forties (My PinoyFitness Sub1 10K Story)

When was the last time you have accepted a challenge knowing the odds were against you? What prompted you that made you stick to your decision and push through with it?

To some of us who excelled in academics, the arts, journalism, sports or even in beauty contests, a lot of preparation and practice is done just to make sure we get that had earned medal or trophy even. It will be an added bonus if we get some cash prizes or additional freebies.

Now what if you registered for a 10K race and you accepted the challenge of finishing it in an hour or less (SUB 1) with little or no training at all, a week before the run? What are the chances that you will get that hard earned medal once you cross the finish line especially if you are already in your late forties just like me ? Isn't it risky putting yourself in a spot knowing that you might even get injured?

To those who are slowly getting to know me through my blog, some of you may already know that I have been running since 2012. It all started when I ran at a free race where the company I used to work for was one of the sponsors.I have joined a 3K race where everything I did was all wrong since I was a beginner. I wore the running shoes I just bought the day before the race, wore a wireless bra and denim shorts plus I did not have any training AT ALL. In short, I was heading for a disaster that fateful Sunday. I could not even remember the last time I had run. Though I was able to cross the finish line in an hour which was already an achievement for me at that time, I did feel some minor leg pains because my pacing was all wrong which was to sprint and then abruptly stop, at times almost bumping at other runners. I was like a tire that gets inflated which was what most newbie runners do when they get all excited running in their first race.

As I started reading running articles, watched videos and continuously spent my weekends running very early in the morning, I have learned to control my pace, developed endurance and improved on my speed. I seldom join races as they too add to my family expenses so it was enough that I finished three to four races in a year. I may have started slow and needed a lot of training and improvement but I was sure glad that I have met coaches and seasoned runners, even ultra marathoners who gave me tips on how to improve my running.

I usually run at BGC. It is a place filled with good memories because it was where I ran my first race & where I joined my first group exercise at the park. There was even a time that I was one of the lone runners along McKinley Road at about 4AM because jeepneys were rare and I did not want to be late for the 5:30AM Zumba class at the park. I considered it as my training field and my turf. What I love about BGC are its uphills and downhills which are good training grounds for a beginner. It also has lots of trees and parks and I pray that it remain that way. Thus when I learned that PinoyFitness Sub1 10K Challenge will be held there, I did not think twice in signing up for it. 

However a week before the race, my monthly period arrived. That was a Wednesday, just three days before the race. I told my self there was no way I am going to back out. I have waited so long for it and I wanted to know if I could really finish a 10K race in an hour at least. So instead of thinking of what might go wrong on race day, I focused on what I could do to prepare myself for that coming Sunday. And here are the things that I did.

 I Practiced Yoga

Since I was not able to train and practice on my speed due to my period, I resorted to the next best thing which was to practice Yoga. Some runners still could not understand how Yoga and running go together. Runners World already featured articles and videos on how Yoga can improve one's running. Since Yoga was low impact, I practiced it everyday  where the routines lasted for an hour, sometimes more. I focused on the calves, hamstrings, legs & arms. I continuously told myself that I will be okay come race day.

I Made Sure I Got Enough Sleep, Ate The Right Food & Drank Plenty of Water

Sleep is very important not only when you register for a race, but once you decide to get serious in running. Same thing in eating the right food & keeping hydrated. One needs to learn how to shy away from junk food, food high in sugar & salt. One also need to eat more veggies and fruits, drink plenty of water instead of soda or carbonated drinks.

I never really had any challenge from avoiding junk food and drinking soda. I could bear not to visit any fast food chain even in a month or three months without any problem. I maybe into sweets like fruit salads and ice cream but I eat them in moderation. I am also lessening my intake of rice to half a cup in every meal. I love veggies and fruits plus I make sure to drink 8 glasses of water, sometimes more especially during summer.

To those who still smoke and drink yet chose to run and join races to keep fit, it would be better if you can quit because as you continue to increase your mileage and join longer races, your body will need all the rest and nutrition there is for you to endure the challenge until you cross the finish line. It would be best to totally quit such vices than suffer the repercussions later.

Although most runners find it hard to sleep the night before Race day, it would still help if the body got enough sleep the day before. NEVER, EVER risk going out for a short drink or attend a party the night before the race. Same thing if you have the flu or are not feeling well. Some runners collapse while on the road and sadly are not able to finish the race. Some are lucky to have friends who will do the extra mile to support them, making sure they are still okay even if it is just a 10K race.

I Used My Old Set of Running Gear, From My Sports Bra to My Running Shoes

Nothing new was worn on race day. Even the race kit that I got when I  registered had been worn the Sunday before the race just to check if it fits comfortably despite the hot weather.

Just roughly 2KM away from the finish line

 
I Kept Saying " Sub1, Sub1" Until It became A Mantra 

I was not the only one who registered for the race. My daughter, Sidney who has autism also ran in the same category with me. We registered for the second wave which started at 5:15AM. When we heard the gunshot, my daughter and I got separated. It was hard not to think of her when she went out on her way but I was confident that she will finish the race in one piece just like she did in the past. So, instead of again thinking what could possibly happen to my daughter on the road, I focused on my run as I only have one hour or less to cross the finish line.

It was hard not to think of my daughter when we got separated

The race route was not at all easy. Runners have to pass by the Buendia Flyover to Kalayaan Avenue and back. There was a point when we were running down the flyover that the pull of gravity was so fast that one has to check his speed not to tumble and hit the other runners in the process. There was also the challenge of staying hydrated and keeping your focus on the road. Not that there were limited water stations. On the contrary, there was enough supply of water and Gatorade but the thing is, stopping to have a drink will affect the remaining time left for you to finish the race which was an hour or less for you to get that medal. In my case, I did stop twice but  made sure I made up for that lost time by quickening my pace to catch up on the required finish time. It was a good thing that I also brought my ever reliable bottled water as I needed to splash some of it on my face and my arms which were getting hotter due to continuous running.

I Never Gave Up Until I Reached The Finish Line

There was a point when I wanted to slow down and just give in to the fact that I will not be able to make it. I was trying to console myself that I was not really prepared for the race plus the fact that I was already in my late forties, that age was already catching up on me and that I was not really a fast runner to begin with. However, there was this stubborn, nagging voice at the back of my head that said I can still finish the race with a faster PR (personal record) although not necessarily a Sub1. With that in mind, I continued to run and when I saw the marker that I was just 500 meters away from the finish line, my strides became longer and my pace became faster. 

When I finally stopped running, I was surprised when I learned I made it to the cut off time.

Hard earned medal

Meanwhile, my mind drifted immediately  to my daughter who was still on the road.             

                  

I always knew she would do well on her own.

After almost half an hour from the time I crossed the finish line, we finally  got to      see each other amid the thousands of runners.

Despite her autism, she never gave up until she finished her 10K race

Despite the lack of training, I was able to prove that age is not a deterrent in exceeding yourself and in nailing that elusive Sub1 10K race.  And as an added bonus, I was included in the Pinoy Fitness  Sub1 10K Challenge Video. Go check for yourself. 

 



      




Will I do it again next year ? 

You bet. 

Especially now that I am officially, a Sub1 10K, gray haired Momma.

(photo credits to pinoyfitness.com, Active Pinas and Sidney Rain Bucu)



                     

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